The Story of Bethlehem Beaver,
Bethlehem Beaver loved Christmas. He also loved diving headers, brain freeze and flossing (the dance, not the dental procedure, although he should). But most of all, he loved Christmas. However, because of his name, and the teasing that came with it, his love of Christmas was on the wane.
Bethlehem had always regarded his name as an honour, having learnt that it was in memory of his late beloved grandfather who had unwisely attempted to chew though a wooden nativity scene and choked to death on a wise man. The irony.
Being called Bethlehem is all well and good when you’re a cute little beaver cutting your teeth on your first dam, but when you’re desperate to discover likeminded beavers beyond the river bank, it’s damned frustrating.
Alas, to this day, there had been no ‘romance receiver’ for Bethlehem Beaver.
No such problems for his brother, Cristiano Beaver. No football talent here, he was just so incredibly vain (bleached teeth and too much fur gel).
Nor for his sister, Madonna Beaver, named as such because of the enormous gap in her front teeth, and her tendency to behave like a beaver diva.
Bethlehem was at his wit’s end until he saw one of those Christmas ads for a big department store (in October ffs). This gave him an idea. He would write to Santa with a Christmas wish.
Now, thought Bethlehem Beaver, if Santa is any friend of the semi-aquatic rodent community, particularly ‘inexperienced but keen to learn’ ones, he will grant my wish.
And so, with romance in his heart and lead in his pencil, Bethlehem Beaver set about scribing the most important letter of his life…
After much gnawing of tree trunks, fingernails and, well, everything really, Christmas morning finally arrived. Bethlehem Beaver was awoken from a fitful sleep as his mother entered his bedroom.
“Merry Christmas!”, said his mother.
Bethlehem Beaver could barely summon the strength to ask the question.
”Has he been, mother? Has Santa made my Christmas wish come true?”
Bethlehem Beaver’s mother smiled warmly and replied.
“Yes, he has. From now on we shall call you… Justin.”
Felice Anno Nuovo
God Jul och Gott Nytt År
Gutes neues Jahr
Onnellista uuta vuotta
Buen Año Nuevo
Bесëлого Рождества и
Cчастливого Нового года
Yeni yılınız mutlu olsun
Feliz Natal e
Feliz Ano Novo
Kellemes Karácsonyi Ünnepeket
Boldog Új Évet